Laying Down Pride
by Hotcheese
Summary: Loke selfishly abandons Lucy after a night of passion. Realizing his mistake, he seeks to win back her heart. ( Warnings: Implied sexual content, drug use ) AU. Oneshot. LoLu


Deep and frequent base notes of thunder hummed through her ears. The way the leaves on the trees outside rattled sounded nearly like screams, and the rain was pounding the roof like a drum. With her window open slightly, it was almost impossible to ignore the soundtrack outside. However, the once jarring sounds of nature slowly faded into the back of her mind and her lids lowered further in relaxation.

Her dorm room was covered in thick, grainy fog. Several zen candles were lit and resting on her dresser. A long stick of lavender incense was burning in a clear glass holder. The dark grey fog twirled and danced towards the ceiling. A deeper and earthy scent was overbearing. This smoke exited her mouth and nose as she rested her head on her pillow. A pink, glass object lied gently in her right hand.

A few knocks on the door caught her attention momentarily.

Though she readily ignored her visitor and internally fought over whether or not to panic and cover up what she was doing. There was no way to get rid of so much smoke in under a minute, and her unnaturally relaxed state of being would likely raise suspicion in anyone who was familiar with her. She didn't know how her guest would react to the state of her room.

This was illegal.

She peered inside of her pipe. It was thin and only had two openings. One for her product, and the other she inhaled from. There were several green leaves left within. Getting rid of the evidence would really be a waste, especially if the person at the door was indifferent to this extracurricular.

She was filled with hope beyond all hope that this wasn't campus security. They definitely wouldn't take too kindly to walking into an ultimate hotbox, no matter how charming and cute she may be. Although she had never bothered to become fully aware of the university's policy on drug use, she knew there would at least be consequences of some fashion.

Many more knocks.

Whoever this was, wasn't leaving until she answered, apparently. Her heart raced as her barely suppressed paranoia bubbled up her stomach and flowed into her chest, neck, face, and mind. She was ultrasensitive to everything around her, and she rested her pipe on her pillow as she rolled out of bed.

Long blonde hair kissed her neck, back, and shoulder blades. She shook out her hair with her hand in a half hearted attempt to make herself somewhat presentable.

Naked. She was naked. Lucy reached into her fully open wardrobe and slipped on her most beloved sweater. It was pale pink and oversized, making it the ultimate choice for comfort. Her fingers ran across the carpet, searching for a pair of night shorts that she recalled throwing on the floor a few hours prior. The cheap bristles created invisible paths across her fingertips and she nearly gasped at how stimulated her senses were.

After stepping into her tiny, black pajama shorts, she used the surfaces in her room to guide her to the door. There was nothing left to do but see who was there and prepare accordingly. Looking through the peep hole, her eyes met black. Whoever was here wanted to be a surprise for her, seeing as they'd pressed their finger over the glass.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and met the eyes of an old friend of hers. As soon as the smell within her room reached his nose, he slid inside and shut the door behind them both. Once she realized it was only him, irritation filled her every pore. Noting that acknowledging that feeling would actually be quite a bother, she turned her back to him and hightailed it back to her bed where she returned to her pipe.

He had no clue that she smoked. He noted that he'd never seen her this calm before. She was usually quite spirited and full of energy. But damn, she looked beautiful even now in this barely lit room. It was too dark to fully inspect her eyes, but he was sure they were red and glassy. And still perfect.

She was perfect.

He was almost certain that she could wear a trash bag and still look completely angelic. With dry lips, low lidded eyes, and frizzy hair, she still looked gorgeous. He wanted to become a part of it; become part of her, her world, anything it would take. He'd sell his soul for her if he had to. Though there was one thing he was sure he could do for her now.

Loke stood before her, looking as dapper as always. He wore a white button down shirt, tucked into perfectly fitted black slacks. His orange hair was long and reminiscent of a lion's mane . She couldn't decipher what he was thinking, but she also didn't think she had it in her to search his expression for any longer than a few seconds. Although she doubted he was terribly happy. She'd been ignoring him for the past 3 weeks.

Sitting at the edge of her bed, she brought the pipe back to her mouth. From under her pillow, she supplied herself with a lighter. Before she could slide her finger across the safety, he removed his hand from his pocket, waving for her to stop. Rolling her eyes at him, she set down the lighter.

He came to her. Kneeling before her, he flashed his silver zippo, embossed with a lion's head. Her eyebrows rose in interest, and her pipe retook its place at her lips. He lit the flame and tilted it towards the round bowl of her pipe. Lucy inhaled the smoke he supplied her with, and when she removed the glass piece from her mouth, she held in her breath a little longer. Impressed, he placed his hands on her knees to allow himself to rise so his face was but a couple inches from hers.

Opening her mouth, the smoke flowed out in opaque, lazy layers. He inhaled from her exhale, burning his lungs slightly. His lips slightly brushed hers in his attempt to receive as much smoke as he could, but she didn't react. The way their skin touched was something familiar. He wanted her so much right now, and he always would.

Lucy felt hazy and wanted to lie down, but she stayed semi-alert so she could brace herself for what he did next.

"Lucy...you smoke?" he questioned her, fog flowing from his mouth. Immediately after, she placed the pipe at his mouth before lighting the bowl for him.

"Pretty regularly," she replied softly.

The sound of him breathing in deeply barely registered in her mind. She just watched his mouth, completely unaware she was staring at that part of him. As a thick puff of smoke left his mouth, he coughed slightly and looked up into her deep brown, bloodshot eyes.

Loke was genuinely surprised that she'd answered the door to begin with, but he supposed she was too relaxed to stay livid with him at the moment. In the past he had done things that completely destroyed her trust in him. He could see, even now, that she was very wary of him. She didn't lean into him or smile with her eyes. Lucy just seemed guarded. Like she didn't know how to react to his presence.

Too high for self preservation, she continued to stare at his lips. Though she really wanted him, she couldn't sleep with him again just for him to leave her before morning. She was so in love with him that it hurt. Seeing him around with other girls always secretly killed her inside, but she didn't want to be fooled by him again. The months they spent together were amazing; he treated her like a queen. However, as soon as she gave him her virginity, he'd promptly gotten dressed and left her alone in her room. And never returned again.

These sobering thoughts helped her escape her hazy daze, and she looked away from him, the hurt resurfacing just as potent as the night he'd taken her. The days and weeks following their break up had been torturous and heart breaking. After the night they'd spent together, he never came back to see her. She found out through mutual friends that he didn't want to be with her anymore. He hadn't the nerve to break up with her in person. The sex was just a perk before his disappearing act.

"Lucy, I never should've left you like that. Or at all," he started, wishing she'd look him in the eyes. He felt so small and insignificant bowed down before her. But he supposed she'd felt quite similar after what he'd done.

Could she forgive him? He seemed quite sincere in his apology. And even now she wasn't over him. She raised the pipe to her mouth and lit the bowl for herself, taking in another deep hit. His actions towards her were undeniably fucked up. She recalled the heart ache of waiting up for him all night to return, and when the urge to cry nagged at her like a fresh mosquito bite, she returned the pipe to her mouth for another hit.

"I love you, Lucy," he continued pleadingly," and I'm so sorry for leaving you after your first time like that. I know you were very vulnerable after what happened that night, and I should've stuck around and sheltered you instead of worrying about my own comfort."

The sex that night had been terrible. So awkward. It was her first time, and her lack of experience had caused her to be very nervous and tense up. The pain at first was sharp, and it became consistently worse as the seconds rolled by. Although she attempted to brave through it, it quickly became apparent to him that her moans were not pleasure filled, but pained. In the end, their first time together had only lasted 2 minutes before she called it quits and ran to the bathroom, both sore and ashamed. After convincing her to leave the bathroom, he told her he'd need to retrieve a change of clothes from his dorm room. And he never came back that night. Or ever again.

Obviously back then he had been selfish; only caring for himself. The way he'd left her sobbing in her room, and how she cried the following days was something she'd never forget. Plus, the way he'd ignored her after the act had ruined her emotionally. The next day she'd attempted to call him, text him, and even check up on him at his dorm. It took exactly one more day of her being artfully dodged by him before she got the picture. Lucy had been dumped. All of this in mind caused her to only glare at him skeptically.

"You left me there. Humiliated like that. You ignored me, and I really needed you," she replied quietly, trying to avoid his gaze and nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She didn't want to cry; that was the whole point of her getting high this evening. To feel nothing. But he was so close to her, and he refused to relinquish her attention. The sheer intensity of his gaze on her had her on edge and breaking out in a cold sweat.

He had no excuse for how he'd treated her. Loke had been a coward, plain and simple. The guilt he felt for abandoning her like that was immense, and he needed to make it right. Adding to his heavy conscience was the fact that she'd kept his betrayal to herself. None of her intimidating friends had come after him in the aftermath of their "breakup". That meant she'd shouldered all the heartbreak on her own. And Loke couldn't imagine how many tears she'd shed because of how insensitive he was.

"Leaving you behind like that... when you were hurt... What I did was unforgivable," he began, removing her pipe from her hands and setting it down next to her on the bed. He took her hands in his and held them tightly, begging her to believe him," I haven't even looked at another woman since you, Princess," he said softly. She immediately winced at his use of her old pet name. Hearing it gave her the uncontrollable urge to cry. Lucy wasn't a princess; she was a fool.

Her tears immediately began to fall, and he was immediately unsure of what to do. The last time he'd seen Lucy like this, he was filled with the strong desire to flee. Even now, his discomfort at being in a situation with a crying girl was telling him to escape while he could. This time he knew that if he were to do something like that, he would truly be pond scum.

This time would be different. Whatever happened tonight, she would still have him in the morning.

"Please don't cry, Princess. I'd rather see you angry with me than sad like this," he said, taking her chin in one hand while allowing the other to remain in her light hold.

"I'm sure I can manage that, too," she snapped at him through her tears," don't touch me!" she hissed at him as she turned her face away from his hand," How do I know you're not just fooling around with me? I couldn't take it if you left again...," she cried, staring at the floor with clenched fists.

"So what you're saying is I have a chance?" he grinned despite her tears, scooting in closer to kneel between her legs and stare right up into her face," Let me prove to you that I have what it takes to be your knight in shining armor again, Lucy. I'll do anything!"

Feeling slightly goofy, she took the bait," Anything?" she asked, interest clear in her tone.

Nodding up at her, he rose slightly to rest one knee on the bed and brace himself with his arms on either side of her. She scooted back on her bed, only causing him to follow. Lucy rested on her elbows, and her ex-boyfriend stared down at her, still kneeling before her. The attraction that remained between them was undeniable, and her face turned red in embarrassment at being spread out before him like this.

"Like...like what?" she continued nervously, knowing he had her where he wanted her.

" Well let's see," he started, reaching down to grab one of her ankles. Gently bending her leg towards her, he enveloped her foot in his hands and began to rub it for her. Although much of her was affected by the way he touched her, she was also moved by how careful he was being with her. Each finger that touched her foot and ankle applied just enough pressure to stimulate the skin's surface.

"I would buy you every single trinket that caught your eye if it would make you happy. And you know I will spare no expense," he announced softly, his eyes never leaving hers as his hands drifted towards her calves.

"No need to brag," she said, rolling her eyes at him. Although she wanted to be furious still, a part of her believed that he wanted her for real.

Not to be deterred, he continued on," I would take you out shopping every weekend and buy you every article of clothing your heart desires. I would sit there as you tried things on, waiting patiently. Happily even! And I would allow you to eat only at the finest restaurants; the price is of no importance."

She giggled slightly at his ridiculous promises to her, but felt herself warming back up to him nonetheless. Dropping her foot, he leaned over her with a serious look," And you know what else?"

"Th-there's more?" she responded quietly.

"For you, Lucy Heartfilia, I would pack a homemade lunch for everyday, if it pleased you," he sighed, remembering how much she enjoyed his cooking," I meant it when I said I'd take you shopping without complaint, but if you'd rather stay in and watch those trashy reality shows on cable that you love, I'd stay with you then, too," he amended, intent on convincing her of his love.

" And if you ever feel like calling late at night to talk, I'd be happy just listening to your voice. If you're feeling lonely and sad, I want to be there for you. If you're feeling joyful, I want to be part of every second of it. Lucy, you're beautiful, you're sweet, and you're smart. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. If there's anything, just ask it, and I'll do it for you," he finished, completely laying down his pride. He felt slightly embarrassed at being so submissive before her, but he didn't mind because it was for her.

"...You really mean it, Loke?" she asked, feeling overwhelmingly close to him.

" The way I treated you before was shameful. I failed you, and I know I don't deserve a second chance. I just love you so damn much... but if it's too late, I understand...," his voice trailed off as he searched for the words to ask for her back," Please, be my girl again?"

She sat up completely, staring into his eyes as if trying to discern the sincerity of his proposition towards her. His seriousness was quite clear to her, and she still loved him so much. She was quite forgiving by nature anyways, and the promise of him holding her close in the future had her nodding at his question.

" Yes, Loke," she said, nodding with a small yet excited smile on her face.

It took a few seconds to get over his shock, but when he did, he tackled her down to her tiny Twin XL bed, wrapping his arms tightly around her and rubbing his cheek against her face like a cat. Lucy giggled softly and wrapped her arms around his neck in return. He felt so at peace with her holding him in her tiny arms. She looked absolutely adorable beneath him, smiling up at him with such love.

Loke then released her to stare down at her once more. Quickly becoming embarrassed, she turned her face away from him," Don't look at me like that," she whined with red cheeks.

"So bossy," he commented, rolling his eyes before slowly descending on her, making his intentions quite obvious. His hands reached underneath her, grabbing her thighs and spreading them before linking her legs around his hips. After that, he braced his arms on either side of her.

He bridged the final inches between them and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, not at all what she was expecting. Pleased nonetheless, she gave him a cute smile before pulling his face back down to hers for another kiss. He wrapped his arms completely around her waist, keeping her as close as possible. The speed of their kisses picked up as she eagerly responded to his lips.

Within minutes they were having a full blown makeout session, both breathing heavily and sweating lightly. Loke rolled onto his back, pulling Lucy on top of him. He cupped her ass in his hands as she moved on top of him, instinctually rocking her hips against his.

Ending their kiss momentarily, he retrieved her pipe on the bed and held it to his lips before lighting it, inhaling the last hit that the glass bowl had to offer. She immediately whined," Share, Loke," before giving him an annoyed look. He beckoned her forward, and when she leaned against him he pressed his open mouth to hers, blowing the smoke straight into her mouth. Not wanting to break apart, she exhaled through her nose and continued to kiss her boyfriend. Smoke escaped their open mouthed kisses and Lucy hummed against his mouth, a sign he had come to know as her way of telling him she was turned on and wanted him to ease it for her.

That night Loke never left her side. And that morning, he was still there, spooning her tiny body against his. Even though he had fought for her back, he was intent on treating her like a queen everyday and proving to her that he meant every word he'd said to her the night before.


End file.
